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Well, I was driving to school this morning and saw some weird stuff. In
a space of about two miles, there were the following dead animals
laying on the road:
Armadillo (1.....his armor is no match for a Goodyear)
Bird (3....dude, you have wings...FLY HIGHER!!)
Dog (1...guess he didn't know what to do with the car when he caught it)
Possum (1....he could have been acting...hmmm)
Cat (1...I think it was a cat...it was pretty beat into the pavement)
It looked like someone had opened up a petting zoo, and gave the
animals a 10 count before chasing them down in their car and
eliminating them from the planet. Of course that's a pretty weird
petting zoo too I suppose. Don't know of many people or kids ( not that
kids aren't people, just that kids like petting zoos....I think) that
wake up in the morning and are like, "DAD!! Can we go pet the
possums????" If you're child does that, you might want to start
re-evaluating just what kind of music they are listening to. If it
consists of some Ozzy, well, now you've found your problem. Don't think
I saw a dead bat on the road though. Then again, if you have kids of
the age where they love going to petting zoos, and they have Ozzy
music, you may have to re-evaluate your parenting. Ya, I pretty much
have no clue what I'm talking about anymore. | | |
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Weird things in life
Current mood:  awake
Some things just don't make sense. Like why would I take a pill, that
the side effects are worse than the actual symptom? Ok, I have this
headache...I get the bottle of Tylenol PM...and start reading....side
effects can include; nausea, dizzyness, diarrhea, hurling the last bit
of your clam chowder, in-grown toenails, hair loss, loss of vision,
perpetual body odor, bad grades, future failed marriage, and termites
devouring your house. Um, ya, I think I'll just take the headache. But
for real, ya'll need to start looking at those things. I know when I
had my wisdom teeth pulled, I had to sign some waiver clearing the
doctor of any liability if I suffered any type of paralysis, face
deformity, gum mutilation, or probably even death. I should have gone
ahead and had all my teeth pulled out so I could look like my friend
Katie. I doubt the steady diet of applesauce is that appealing after
the 14th week. Then again, I am getting extremely old...if I go ahead
and get rid of my teeth now, my hair is sure to soon follow, then I'll
be gettin that early bird discount at Denny's. Doesn't get much better
than that. Did I mention some extremely cheap dates? Not really much of
a bingo or shuffleboard fan tho. Oh well, I'll grow into it I suppose.
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| Ok, like my best cracker friend in the
entire....um....A&M campus, has some serious security issues. Never
in my life have I seen someone that has to constantly tell themselves
how intelligent, adorable, sweet, yadda, yadda... *yawn* are you done
yet?...they are. But then again, I can see where she's coming
from....let me lay it out to you, then you'll see how hard it is to
have a positive outlook on life. First, her 17 year old sister resorts
to "biting" her....yes.....17 year old girl "biting" people when she's
mad at them. So, you have a sibbling who has to get yearly rabbies
vaccines. Second, she moves to A&M and the dorm smells like the
armpitt of a Kenyan marathon runner who is not participating in the Old
Spice challange and who just crossed the 947th mile mark. Definatly not
a good thing. Thirdly, she moves to a dorm that she thought would
consist of 32 guys, and 7 girls...turns out, as soon as she walks in
the door, 28 of the guys pack their bags, load their car...and
completely leave College Station and transfer to a school in the hills
of Wyoming. Lastly, she's driving home one night, and gets pulled over
by a Three Rivers police officer....well on her way to the side of the
road she jumps a curb, hits a stop sign which then falls out into the
road and pops the tire on a chicken truck that was passing by.....if
you lived a life like this, you would be contemplating overdosing on 25
laxatives and 25 sleeping pills, just to see which were stronger...you
might be in for a rather unpleasant suprise in the morning...if there
is a morning......or jumping off the empire state building, without a
parachute, and landing on a unicycle with no seat. Umm...ya......I
dunno....anyways...naw, Katie is a cool cat...and I was bribed into
dedicating a blog in her memory, even though she isn't dead yet. I'm
still in the running for being able to read her obit. at her funeral!!
Hurry up and die Katie!!!! | | |
| Well, tomorrow starts another semester. The two week break flew by at
break-neck speed. Although the definition of "break-neck" is
subjective. When cars were first made, people thought you
wouldn't be able to breath going faster than 25m.p.h. Although some,
rather elderly, drivers seem to still believe that, we have learned
that now you can go at least 40 m.p.h. and still breath. More tests are
being done to determine just how fast is "breathable". Of course
I guess you could still break your neck if you fell out of a truck
going 25mph, and hit an open manhole or something.
Anyways, school starts back and I've gotten most of my books. I
say "most" seeing that 5 books cost me $314... so I'm waiting until
Bank of America opens tomorrow so I can rob that, and then get the rest
of the books.
Today was rather uneventful. I ate at Moronville this afternoon
(a.k.a Long John Silver). You'll see why its Moronville in a
second. This is verbatim the conversation I had with the worker
there:
Her: Hello, can I take your order?
Me: Sure, I'd like an L3 please.
Her: Will that do it?
Me: I believe so
Her: For here or to go?
Me: To go
Her: That'll be $4.53
Me: Here you go.
Her: You still want the L3?
Me: Um,....yeah, I think so.
I mean what's the deal with that? Was I like the unlucky 13th L3
customer of the day? Was I about to eat exploding shrimp? Did my
hushpuppies contain a flesh-eating bacteria? I thought she had an eye
twitch, but she must have been blinking morse code to me with her
eyelids saying "No! Not the L3! Last person that ordered that is still
in ICU". Ok, that would be like a lot of twitching, plus I'd like to
see something blink morse code for "!". I mean what would have happened
between the time I said L3, and given her my money that would change my
mind on what I wanted? So by the time I cleared my head of that,
and she gave me my reciept, these three ladies walk in behind me and
the one said to the others, "I feel like eating fish today".....umm,
hello? It's Long John Silver! Do you normally go there and order
Chicken Alfredo(sp)? Although I do have a sister that ordered chicken
strips at Red Lobster once. Oh well, that pretty much does it for me.
Oh, USA-Spain tomorrow....keep 'em crossed people!
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| The olympics are so kewl aren't they? I mean what's better than sitting
down and watching some good equestrian, archery, fencing, sailing, and
badmitton(sp) battles. Doesn't get much better than that. Well,
maybe I lied. The real sports are good tho. The one thing I would
change about the olympics tho, would be instead of getting a gold
medal, you win something you can actually use. I mean what good is a
gold medal? I doubt it would work in a vending machine if you were a
little low on quarters. NOOO!! I'm one quarter short of getting my hot
cheetos, and it wont take my medal!!! :( How about these ideas....
Swimming -- a gold life preserver, when you are swimming the 30000m
butterfly you might get a little exhausted and need that thing.
Men's Diving -- some gold swimming trunks. Since when did they allow
nudists in the olympics? I mean some of their speedos were so little it
only had enough room for the letters "spe" out of speedo.
Boxing -- gold teeth, this is self-explanatory
Fencing -- a gold brain. Jabbing each other with swords is fun?
Track -- gold shoes, because the ones Michael Johnson wore in 1996 were just awesome.
Basketball, Soccer, Softball, etc -- gold headbands. Looks kewl, and you keep the sweat off.
Biking -- a golden waterbottle. This could be a lifesaver on the 294th mile.
Ya, those are my ideas, and that's probably why I'll never be
elected to the International Olympic Committee. The ideas are too
logical, instead we'll keep giving out little gold round pieces that
the athletes children mistake for a Reese's peanut butter cup, bite
into, and break their teeth. Then there are two problems. You have the
athlete parent upset that something he/she worked so hard for has been
damaged, and the little rugrat now has 3 1/2 teeth. If only they were
friends with an olympic boxing winner, they could steal his gold caps :)
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